it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
