haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
