Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
