I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
