think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
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