May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
cat food counts as protein by the way
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
