Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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