can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
