I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
