And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
