I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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