You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
