? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
