the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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