best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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