Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
