Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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