I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Send help, water and tortillas.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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