Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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