fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
