Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
