So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
