question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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