I want to walk on stilts...naked
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize