so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
