2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
