then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
