did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
