Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
