...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
