dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
