You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
