We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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