i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
wow bdsm is so cute
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
