I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
