I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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