i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
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