I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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