Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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