I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
