If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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