I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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