Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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