Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Sext me about skeletons
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
