Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
