Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
