; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
it's like heaven, but drunker
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
