So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
