Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
