my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
