my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
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