I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
