I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize