discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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