I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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