Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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