Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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