I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize