some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
